on bucket washing

​Save money and get a workout by washing your clothes using two buckets and a broomstick. Standard contractor buckets work best, as does a long, strong stick that has no sharp ends.

Cut four roughly inch-wide (~3 cm) holes in the bottom of the first bucket - to help drain water later. Fill the second, intact bucket halfway with soiled laundry, add about three tablespoons (~45 ml) of detergent, then add the rest of your dirty clothes. Pour in lukewarm water until it reaches no more than six inches (~15 mm) below the top of the bucket.

Using the broom handle, gently push the laundry downward against the far side of the bucket, using a foot or ledge to stop it from moving around, if necessary. Rotate (agitate) your clothing this way until the water looks oily, and brown. Then, take both buckets to a bathing area, place the intact bucket on the floor of your tub or shower, place the bucket with holes into it, and push downward. Dirty water will bubble up through the holes. Flip over both buckets then push downward on the bottom of the intact bucket to force as much water as possible out of the clothing now trapped between the two.

Once most of the dirty water has been squeezed out, rest the buckets on their side, remove the one with the holes, refill the intact one, and start the whole process over. Repeat at least twice using detergent and two more times using cold, clean water to rinse. Hang to dry.

For a balanced workout, switch hands during agitating. From start to finish, the entire process takes roughly 20 minutes.

americanifesto / JPR / whorphan / 場黑麥

on phaltscape etiquette and standards

The urban bicyclist may differ from her fellow mashers in appearance, dress, and hairstyle, but she will share with them standards of smog-riding etiquette as extensive as those of any other professional affiliation. Since it would be inconvenient to list every standard common to the smog-rider, let us examine a few of the more practical matters. To avoid making the drivers trapped in their smoking metal boxes jealous, she keeps all evidence of her bursting exuberance hidden from sight. In order to inform the people around her of her whereabouts, she will sound a series of war-whoops and signaling-whistles piercing and attention-getting enough to prevent unnecessary collisions. She rides with proper stance – shoulders pulled back and chest thrust out – so as to isolate the workout to her lower body while allowing her eyes to scan the environment calmly and with keen interest. In order to stay upright and aboard her smog-sled, she is able day or night to repair and maintain it anywhere and in any weather, and although her conveyance will look dusty and well-used, it will be in good working condition, as she has always on hand tools and spare parts.

Beyond the practical matters just listed, there are spiritual standards common to the urban cyclist. Within his brains is an extensive collection of those routes that are the smoothest, that have the least motor-vehicle traffic, and that allow him to avoid running into pesky and annoying police officers. So as to keep his body in good working condition and to avoid the irritability and dangers associated with dehydration, he drinks regularly of green coconut water, or of other beverages rich in electrolytes. An honorable and virtuous being, he will carry his smog-sled when it can carry him no longer, and since he knows that bicycling is a dangerous activity, he lives peacefully knowing that death is rushing by inches from his tender flesh-bag of a body.

Here are presented but a few of the standards of smogriding – may you discover more, and establish a few of your own.

場黑麥 ioanni elymucampus fecit