on nature's nightly light-show

During these muggy days of summer, when the sun has set and the bats have emerged to hunt, thousands of bioluminescent insects put on a fascinating and free light-show. I do not really see it unless I stand for a while in the bowl of the valley and let my eyes adjust to the darkness; then, however, I realize that nearly every available surface – from the low grasses to the tops of the highest trees – has been taken over by lightning bugs.

Granted, the bugs do not produce the lung-thumping boom of fireworks, their lights are less bright than, say, roman candles, and they generate hardly any unnecessary light or air pollution, but for all of their apparent shortcomings these tiny insects, when occupying a stand of trees in sufficient number, are far more impressive than even the most magnificent and expensive Fourth of July fireworks display. The show they put on is so dazzling, so mesmerizing, that I must often force myself out of my trance-like state and continue on to the small tent by the creek in which I sleep most hot nights. To my knowledge, there is no rhyme or reason to these insects' flashings, no clear-cut code as far as I have been able to see, only thousands of randomly-timed pinpricks of white light winking on and off in the dark and shadowy gloom of the trees in which they sit. Concert-goers in a blacked-out sports stadium will all try to take a picture of the headlining band when it finally mounts the stage; the efforts of these little bugs have a similar visual effect, but to my knowledge their luminescent signaling is a means to the end of getting laid, while a concert-goer's flashings are little more than proof of his foolish exuberance and having forgotten to properly adjust his camera.

So, this week during which we Americans celebrate the date upon which our nation issued the most important document in the history of mankind, don't waste your money on Chinese-made fireworks – wait until it is dark and then go stare at a tree.

場黑麥 mentiri manufactorem fecit

Mobility-Oriented-Housing-Design - MOHD

  Have you ever had to choose between a great job and a great apartment? Have you ever wanted to just uproot your crib and truck it to a different city? Have you ever clawed your way out of a mobile home while it was being dragged along by a raging and swollen river?

  The new MOHD series from Maison Modular & Mobil* will let you watch out your living-room window without trepidation as the tsunami rips the surrounding structures to pieces. This advanced product allows you to replace your home's roof in a single afternoon; it grants you the freedom to move to any city that has parking spaces and to bring your entire household with you, immediately. The Mobility-Oriented-Housing-Design (MOHD) unit fits in a standard parking space, yet inside it is big enough to seat eight people comfortably. The unit is anchored to a bolt in the ground via a thick steel cable that is accessible only to the inhabitant via a floor hatch (this makes it difficult to move MOHDs unnoticed). Each unit fits onto any but the smallest flat-beds, and its underside-mounted wheels allow it to be towed (albeit slowly).

  The exterior and interior panels (which can be customized in most any way imaginable) of the MOHD are prefabricated in an ecologically sustainable process. At the core of each panel is sandwiched a mesh-like weave of circuitry that is meant to interrupt electronic surveillance. (This mesh does not interfere with the unit's built-in Wi-fi router, or with its send-and-receive capabilities.) The panels are attached to the structural framework in such a way as to form a tight enough seal that, if the doors and windows are too sealed properly, the airtight unit can sustain life while submerged fully (or at least until the fuel cells run out, because air is being pumped in via a semi-rigid, floating snorkel mounted to the roof).

  Conceived for the urban working individual who wants to save time looking for apartments and money on home-repairs, the staff at most home improvement centers is trained to replace or repair MOHD panels quickly and inexpensively; furthermore, the panels are easy to replace at home using a few simple tools. The septic system of the MOHD includes wastewater recapture-and-reuse and a high quality methane-for-fuel scrubber/extractor. Furniture in a variety of styles and shades is available for purchase from individually-operated designers. MOHD units are designed to connect to one another, so you can create a maze-like warren all your own in the unused section of your local strip-mall. (The standard MOHD design resembles in appearance a loaf of bread with a rounded top and corners.) Inconspicuous (most designs) and intrusion-resistant (all designs), each unit has mount-ready external hard-points for attaching cameras (or mini-guns).

  The MOHD is the complete package: it is low in price and it floats, it is partially self-sustaining (with necessary roof-garden and solar/wind upgrades) and simple to relocate, it is easy to repair and to upgrade, and it looks bad-ass sitting in the gloomy section of the cluster of abandoned stores down the street. Buy a MOHD, and never hunt for an apartment, die in a tsunami, fall victim to vagrants, or watch your house get towed, ever again. At select retailers.

*(MM&M llc.)