fuck the state

The Red Son costume is finally complete – authentic ushanka hat with Soviet emblem, hand-drawn Commie Superman t-shirt, weathered gray worker's cape, hammer & sickle belt buckle, and gray pants tucked into high leather work boots. The party is for D.C. political types, mostly Libertarians. I am Red Son, Proletarian Superhuman, and I fear nothing. “Stalin?” people ask incredulously, gawking at me as Obama Robbin' Hood or Spiderman, American Revolutionary or Roaring Twenties flapper. A doe-eyed woman in tight dress and fake-fur coonskin cap says she will go home with me if I make good on my threat to PETA her ass with a gallon of blood. Later, I watch her reluctantly let a man kiss her on the mouth. I am a Proletarian Superhuman; my heart is pure. The inside of the house on the quiet residential street is lit by black-light, and someone has used black-light sensitive tape to write Fuck The State over a prominently-placed Gadsden flag. We chant this slogan while dancing to techno beats, our bodies gyrating wildly as our hearts swell with thoughts of Freedom. I find a flashlight in the grass out back and return it to the mercenary types guarding the front gate, who assure me that their semi-automatic rifles are fakes spray-painted black to look real. I am faster than a speeding bullet; I fear nothing. Next to the backyard bar, near the fire-circle, someone has placed a pumpkin engraved with a hyper-accurate likeness of Lindsey Graham. Our ardor is high, our spirits flicker, aroused. “Have you heard about the revolution?” a man dressed as Trotsky keeps yelling from his post by the kegs of beer. For a spell, he and I harangue all passersby, speaking vehemently of revolution and demanding that our voices be heard. I am a Proletarian Superhuman, and I would like to speak to you about something important. I make a game of pretending to mistake both guys dressed as Where's Waldo for lighthouses – they are gracious and laugh with me; they refuse to be offended. A sexy border patrol agent and I briefly suck face, with me grabbing her mammoth breasts through her shirt, but she is a smoker and I am repulsed by the taste of her mouth. The night deepens; a neighbor calls the cops. “I wish we could smoke some more weed,” a man in a strap-on Amish chin-beard says while inhaling candy from a table over by the kegs. I a Kal-L, chocoholic. Tell me: Do you have a moment to speak about the revolution?

© americanifesto / 場黑麥

Sandy boon or bust

Without doubt, both major-party political candidates will try to use the devastation and damage caused by erstwhile hurricane Sandy to their advantage. The incumbent Barack Obama will likely point to the rapid response time and widespread preparedness of thousands of emergency personnel as proof of his competency, as an indication of the methods by which he will tackle the nation's less immediate issues such as high unemployment, growing national debt, and our crumbling infrastructure. The challenger Mitt Romney will likely point to the sluggish federal response and lack of adequate leadership by the current administration as proof that our sitting president must be replaced, that he has a tendency to sit around lackadaisically while America drifts rudderless through the shoals of catastrophe, that his policies have failed, and that he is the greatest threat to the Safety of the People since redcoat placed boot on our soil.

I listened to NPR and checked the news regularly in the days and hours before Sandy made landfall, and, to my knowledge, Mr. Obama analyzed and calculated and fact-checked the storm as much and as thoroughly as he did his primary opponent in their third debate together. (Glaringly omitted from this debate were a couple of the other persons contending for the presidency, among them Dr. Jill Stein and former governor Gary Johnson, who were barred from attending the event and from sparring with their super-slick counterparts by the sinister and undemocratic machinations of the Commission on Electoral Debates a freedom-hating organization controlled jointly by the Democrat and Republican parties.) In all likelihood, Mr. Romney will blame his foe for failing to have prevented every tree from falling and every transistor from shorting out, for not acting quickly enough in his efforts to warn us sodden souls hardest hit by this frankenstorm of its exact path and true destructiveness, for worrying more about controlling the narrative and looking good on camera than visiting shelters and keeping hope alive. Hopefully, however, this time around, Mitt won't blame the few score deaths on the president (as he did following the tragic events in Benghazi) or insinuate that they would not have occurred under his watch, although if were to make such claims, he might alienate a few more swing voters and put himself out of the race altogether, which, in the long run, would work out just fine for liberty and equality here in America.

There is a chance that while he is out smiling condescendingly and surveying the shattered hovels of commoners the Republican challenger will fall into a ditch filled with sewage-mixed seawater and catch such a nasty cold that he will be bedridden for these last few days before the election, sparing us the torture of listening to his pitying smarm and of having to puzzle through the mounting mysteries of his constantly-shifting viewpoints. We shall see how things shake out once the storm of the century has passed. If you are interested in avoiding such disasters in the future, vote Green Party! Mahalo.

© mentiri factorem fecit (場黑麥)

no superior state

America's system of elections is broken. Instead of all citizens of voting age sharing equal responsibility and enjoying equal privilege in the selection of their president, certain battleground states have emerged (Ohio and Florida are two examples), states in which political parties and their candidates spend disproportionately large amounts of time and treasure, states that have been granted greater power than their neighbors and fellow members of this oh-so-precious Union. If we elect to the presidency a person willing and able to fix this system, we might all be once again be treated equally; if we elect to the presidency a person with a proven track-record of beating back the ever-creeping tendrils of government, one who will veto unnecessary and wasteful laws and fight the influence of deep-pocketed corporations, we might once again look at ourselves in our mirrors with pride, basking in the knowledge that we are all equal under the law, that not ass nor pachyderm meddles in the Peoples' affairs, that the opinions of not Buckeye nor Cornhusker are valued greater than the political views of Blue Mountaineer or Big Skywatcher. We need a president who will make things better, not worse. We need a president who will sacrifice his chances of re-election so as to battle entrenched corruption and the stranglehold of the war-mongering lobbyist.

For the aforementioned reasons, in hopes of breaking the gridlock of power in Washington D.C., and desiring to throw off the mantle of federal oppression, I endorse governor Gary Johnson for president. For too long have we considered votes for third-party candidates wasted votes; for too long have we tried to choose between the lesser of two evils instead of casting our ballots for that person who we know will reinstate the Constitution's tender grasp, who we know will end our illegal wars of aggression, who we know will restore the Liberty granted us by the Declaration of Independence. Please, dear reader, fight the choke hold of business-as-usual, smash your television-set to bits, and vote for the only man who will revoke both the Patriot Act and NDAA 2012, pieces of legislation passed by both Republican and Democrat that continue to desecrate the Constitution and destroy the freedom and equality for which this nation was once known. No state is more important than the next, no segment of the population more valuable than its neighbor. Only by fighting for Liberty can we secure for ourselves her Blessings; only by joining together as twigs in a bundle can we guarantee for ourselves the peace and happiness upon which our country was founded. Stand up – speak out – vanquish injustice – vote Libertarian!

© mentiri factorem fecit (場黑麥)

Obama v Romney

I watched Messieurs Romney and Obama engage in debate on the evening of 03OCT2012. Against my better judgment, I read three different articles before the event occurred (two from American sources, one from Germany), articles that analyzed the candidates' backgrounds and spoke of the varying importance of debates in general and the great importance – for Mitt Romney, at least – of this first of three direct conversations he is set to have with our current Supreme Leader. (I consider the omission from this debate of the other candidates who are running for president, those for example from the Green or Libertarian parties, to be proof of blatant favoritism and evidence of the rampant corruption that exists within our rotten excuse for a democratic process for electing national leadership.) Most ire against America's one-party-system aside, my first impression from last night's debate was just how well the two men had memorized large quanta of data.

The debate consisted largely of the incumbent and his challenger spouting numbers at each other without ever really slinging proper mud; over and over again Romney brought up a sum of 716 billion that ObamaCare supposedly would take from MediCare, allegations Obama did not refute. The President seemed smug and overconfident, standing around idly while his opponent repeated one falsehood after another, with the Governor becoming so condescending that I could hardly stand to keep watching. Obama was slick of tongue and made frequent references to individual Americans whom his policies had supposedly helped, and he made a point to speak into the camera at different times, claiming to address the American people directly; Romney was having none of it, though, latching himself onto his opponent's scruff and tearing into him with the ferocity of a religious-extremist white Republican. At the end of the debate, as Jim Lehrer excused himself into perpetual anonymity, Mitt's family mounted the stage (I only saw Michelle Obama, not their daughters), with Romney pointing out his five sons, having completely failed to mention at any point during the debate that he had daughters. (Perhaps this was an attempt to shield from lustful gazes the one gorgeous female by his side, a stunning young lady with a wide mouth and glittering eyes, but it was more than likely an indication of the value that Mitt puts on persons who happen to have two (2) X chromosomes.)

As the debate focused on the economy, I was hardly surprised that neither candidate addressed our nation's underlying problems, these being unconstitutional federal expansion, excessive presidential power, failure to properly secure the Blessings of Liberty, prosecution of individuals for pursuing their Happiness, giving hundreds of billions of taxpayer dollars to a military-industrial-complex that survives only when we are at war, and erosion of the rights of Ynki women to the contents of their stomachs and of homosexual Americans to marry. If it was among Romney's goals to show that his would be the better way, that his would be the more logical choice for the next four years, that his ideas and his vision would trump those of the incumbent, he failed miserably; such was the similarity of the two men, such was their overlap, that one could easily make the argument for staying with Obama rather than shifting the enormous weight of our hopes and dreams onto Romney's untested shoulders. These are all just my opinions, though, and opinions are dangerous things, so I shall stop, for now, so as to reexamine my modus operandi and make adjustments. Mahalo.

場黑麥 mentiri factorem fecit