A
woman is out walking her dog and the beast urinates on the sidewalk
ahead of me. I step accidentally in the stream of piss spreading
toward the gutter, but instead of reacting angrily I tell myself: The
poor beast has to piss somewhere – why not right here in front of
me? If the woman had curbed her dog, I would not have stepped in its
bowel movement, but since she did not, I must scrape its shit off of
the bottom of my shoe.
I have
no problem with the animal doing any of this so long as I might also
piss freely into the gutter whenever I want to. As a member of the
species homo
sapiens and a bowel-moving, food-digesting animal, I shall make
water into any nearby gutter if the urge to pee should hit me
unexpectedly. Just now, I made water in the street near LAPD
headquarters, at two thirty on a Wednesday afternoon, and no persons
complained or looked at me funny. (I suspect that people do not
confront me because I am tall, and because I look like I could be a
mentally insane homeless person.)
City-dwellers
of the world, fight species-based discrimination by curbing yourself
and pissing in the street. Do not risk injuring
or killing yourself because there was no socially acceptable
toilet nearby – celebrate your animal nature by watering the
phaltscape with your golden showers, today.
場黑麥
ioanni elymucampus
fecit
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