Every morning, at 0530A, an alarm sounds, triggering my body into wakefulness. Being a spoiled, snot-nosed American brat and a generally worthless individual, and seeing as how I endeavor to shrink my bad and to grow my good characteristics, I have taken on the awesome responsibility of gardening. That row cover of tulle draped tightly over spans of freshly-split bamboo? Installed yesterday. That Third-World-style drip irrigation unit my missionary uncle sent me via insured mail five weeks ago? Installed last weekend. Yes, though I sometimes take a bit longer to get things done than I might ought to, I am learning a lot from the three separate gardens growing on this dacha's property, among them one that was donated, one that I am growing for a silent partner, and one that I grew from seed. Add to these two fledgling blueberry bushes (which are stuck in a sort of limbo) and one string-bean plant peeking from beneath an upside-down planter hanging on the back patio, and the opportunities for work become endless.
Every morning, as rosy-fingered Dawn is caressing the world with the promise of day but before the chariot of the sun-god has crested the horizon, I haul water up from the stream to moisten the earth within the various plots. And again in the evening, when Helios begins to dip toward the horizon and the birds start flocking home to roost, the soil drinks deeply of the cool running brook. To my great fortune, a good friend gave me a stack of Mother Earth News magazines, and, while foxing around in the barn, I found a trove of Organic Gardening magazines from the 1970s and '80s that I have been reading and studying, and from which I have gleaned much valuable knowledge. What, you ask, is the most useful bit of advice I have come across? Beyond the row-covers of tulle and the genius of drip irrigation, the most useful advice has been to never leave ground uncovered, i.e. that one should always cover one's soil with at least some form of mulch (grass clippings, leaves, layers of cardboard) so that it does not bake too badly in the sun and so that it is always gaining some sort of nutrients as things above it decompose.
I think back often to the lessons my parents once taught me, long ago, before they died, and I am tempted to chide myself for not remembering them, for not having paid better attention to what they said, and for not heeding their advice, but, instead, I bask happily in the memories and try to learn as much as I can from the soil sitting in my hands, from the plants growing in the ground, from the wind, from the rain, and from the subtle interplay that occurs when all of these elements conspire together, somehow, to make life. Among the most enduring lessons I am learning is this: no matter how barren soil may seem, it has the seemingly endless capacity to bounce back. This is but my first time doing this sort of work, but, by Liberty, I like it.
場黑麥 mentiri manufactorem fecit
29 June 2012
27 June 2012
46%
the same 46% of the American population that believes in creationism is likely the same 46% that does not vote, that is morbidly obese, that did not go to college, that is against homosexuality, and that can hardly tell its head from its ass. X
on Sallust
I have recently finished reading a Latin-to-English translation from 1920 of the War with Catiline, by Sallust. (I had purchased the book for one dollar during a visit to my alma mater's library.) Beyond the fact that the actual war which this work purports to cover consumed no more than the last few pages of the text (which is scores of pages long), the tale deals primarily with such political corruption, societal decay, and moral downfall as that seems to have set the stage for Catiline's failed rebellion. Moreover, the situations Sallust describes in this book – situations which Catiline appears to have tried to exploit to his own benefit – struck me as eerily similar to situations we face in America, today.
Sallust speaks of the founding of Rome, how the city came to wealth and great fortune, becoming the mother of an empire. But, soon enough, the principles upon which it was founded – industriousness, thriftiness, valor – were supplanted by avarice, sloth, and self-aggrandizement. And, soon enough, in its primary political body, the Senate, “instead of modesty, incorruptibility, and honesty, shamelessness, bribery, and rapacity held sway.” This, I believe, is the trap into which our own Congress and Senate have fallen. The politicians who fill these bodies, while campaigning for election or reelection, champion themselves as honest persons of incorruptible and modest moral fiber only to revert, once they have gained office, to shamelessly selling their time and influence to the highest bidder and to writing such laws as rape the very people they have sworn to protect of their Lives, Liberty, and Property. Sallust speaks that when Rome had grown “great through toil and the practice of justice… savage tribes and mighty people subdued by force of arms… and all the seas and lands were open, then Fortune began to grow cruel and to bring confusion into all our affairs.” This text almost perfectly describes the course America charted from its founding until now, in that this nation was born in perilous circumstances, becoming soon a country dedicated to the preservation of the rule of law, then wiping out whole populations of First People tribes, and finally conquering Nazi Germany and Soviet Russia to leave land and sea our disposal, only to discover, as if we had but recently come to our senses, that our internal affairs were seriously – and perhaps irrevocably – out of alignment.
I am not the first to draw comparisons between the Roman and the American empires, and I am not the first to suggest the inevitability of an empire such as our own to fail, but I am delighted to have found an ancient work that so well supports these points. While there is much solid wisdom to be learned from past writers (I should like to suggest to persons in the Occupy and the Indignados movements to read the aforementioned book, and to prepare for a total lack of positive change), the primary lessons I gleaned from this interesting and worthwhile text are that life seems to follow certain paths inexorably, that politics are intolerably messy and best left alone, that money and influence always corrupt, that people should be trusted about as far as they can be thrown, and that elected officials will only reluctantly and with much kicking and screaming give up such power as to which they have become accustomed. So please, dear reader, fellow Second Sons of Liberty, comrades of the New Guards for our Future Security, please do not despair, for no matter how dark our times may seem, they are sure to get worse before they get better. Mahalo.
場黑麥 mentiri manufactorem fecit
work cited: Sallust, page 14, J. C. Rolfe, London: Heinemann; New York: Putnam's Sons, 1920
Sallust speaks of the founding of Rome, how the city came to wealth and great fortune, becoming the mother of an empire. But, soon enough, the principles upon which it was founded – industriousness, thriftiness, valor – were supplanted by avarice, sloth, and self-aggrandizement. And, soon enough, in its primary political body, the Senate, “instead of modesty, incorruptibility, and honesty, shamelessness, bribery, and rapacity held sway.” This, I believe, is the trap into which our own Congress and Senate have fallen. The politicians who fill these bodies, while campaigning for election or reelection, champion themselves as honest persons of incorruptible and modest moral fiber only to revert, once they have gained office, to shamelessly selling their time and influence to the highest bidder and to writing such laws as rape the very people they have sworn to protect of their Lives, Liberty, and Property. Sallust speaks that when Rome had grown “great through toil and the practice of justice… savage tribes and mighty people subdued by force of arms… and all the seas and lands were open, then Fortune began to grow cruel and to bring confusion into all our affairs.” This text almost perfectly describes the course America charted from its founding until now, in that this nation was born in perilous circumstances, becoming soon a country dedicated to the preservation of the rule of law, then wiping out whole populations of First People tribes, and finally conquering Nazi Germany and Soviet Russia to leave land and sea our disposal, only to discover, as if we had but recently come to our senses, that our internal affairs were seriously – and perhaps irrevocably – out of alignment.
I am not the first to draw comparisons between the Roman and the American empires, and I am not the first to suggest the inevitability of an empire such as our own to fail, but I am delighted to have found an ancient work that so well supports these points. While there is much solid wisdom to be learned from past writers (I should like to suggest to persons in the Occupy and the Indignados movements to read the aforementioned book, and to prepare for a total lack of positive change), the primary lessons I gleaned from this interesting and worthwhile text are that life seems to follow certain paths inexorably, that politics are intolerably messy and best left alone, that money and influence always corrupt, that people should be trusted about as far as they can be thrown, and that elected officials will only reluctantly and with much kicking and screaming give up such power as to which they have become accustomed. So please, dear reader, fellow Second Sons of Liberty, comrades of the New Guards for our Future Security, please do not despair, for no matter how dark our times may seem, they are sure to get worse before they get better. Mahalo.
場黑麥 mentiri manufactorem fecit
work cited: Sallust, page 14, J. C. Rolfe, London: Heinemann; New York: Putnam's Sons, 1920
25 June 2012
on free time
Today, devices exist in homes across the world that work so that humans do not have to. Among these are dish-washers, vacuum-cleaners, lawnmowers, well-water pumps, washing-machines for clothes, and televisions. Rather than having to wash one's dishes by hand, to sweep furiously at one's carpet, to cut one's grass using muscle power, to maintain water-pressure by hand, to clean one's clothes, or to entertain oneself, these machines – which run either on gasoline burning in their innards or on electricity (that is generated by the burning of coal before it is piped via an enormous network of skeletal electrical towers across vast distances to emerge finally from wall-mounted sockets) – do nearly all of the work that people used to do for themselves. In order to buy these devices, to pay to have them repaired, maintained, and upgraded, and to pay for the gasoline and for the electricity required to make them run, their owners must work – depending on their level of skill, influence, luck, and education – at one or more jobs, labor for which they receive financial compensation.
Advertisers market the aforementioned devices as things that will increase the amount of free time available to consumers and as things that are supposed to make life better. In reality, however, these devices do not make life easier for the majority of people who grow accustomed to their use; these devices rob the people of the good, hearty workouts associated with cutting grass using the body's own power, with washing clothes using the body's own power, with washing dishes using the body's own power, and with hauling water using the body's own power; these devices rob the people of the need to maintain the art of storytelling, and of the need to maintain the art of making art. But, aha! I have just had a thought, namely that because these machines exist, and because they reduce the amount of time that people would otherwise have to set aside to take care of their household and garden chores or to come up with clever ways to keep themselves entertained, because of these supposed time-savers, people are able to work longer hours and to work at more than one job in order to maintain their supposedly time-saving devices and to keep buying new ones as the old ones wear out. Therefore, these devices and the oft-repeated lie that they “save time” not only create but also perpetuate the type of wage-slave, consumption-oriented capitalism that, as I type, is being waged against the American people.
I have nothing really against free time, only the way that free time is used. Americans and persons living in industrialized nations similar to ours use their free time to sit around eating highly processed and chemical-laden foodstuffs, watching television, playing video games, and generally getting fatter and unhealthier by the day; if, however these free-time-rich people were to work in community gardens, paint pictures, tell each other stories, go on hikes, or exercise their bodies and minds and make themselves into better and more interesting people instead of poking at touch-screen-equipped tablet computers while turning up the volume on the TV in order to drown out the sound pollution generated by the dishwasher and the washing-machine running at the same time, if these people were to be active and creative and all chip in to make this nation and this planet a greener and quieter place for all then we might slowly redeem ourselves in the opinions and estimations of a candid world. As it stands however, with our federal government owned and operated by the very persons who gain the most – financially – from our brand of wage-slave style capitalism, there is a greater incentive to keep the people fat, stupid, and sold on the idea that there are devices for sale that will make their lives easier or better rather than to encourage them to be self-sufficient, self-reliant, and self-respecting. How much farther down this stinking rabbit-hole of convenience-driven consumerism can we possibly allow ourselves to fall? America delenda est.
agitate – challenge – debunk – restore
場黑麥 mentiri manufactorem fecit
Advertisers market the aforementioned devices as things that will increase the amount of free time available to consumers and as things that are supposed to make life better. In reality, however, these devices do not make life easier for the majority of people who grow accustomed to their use; these devices rob the people of the good, hearty workouts associated with cutting grass using the body's own power, with washing clothes using the body's own power, with washing dishes using the body's own power, and with hauling water using the body's own power; these devices rob the people of the need to maintain the art of storytelling, and of the need to maintain the art of making art. But, aha! I have just had a thought, namely that because these machines exist, and because they reduce the amount of time that people would otherwise have to set aside to take care of their household and garden chores or to come up with clever ways to keep themselves entertained, because of these supposed time-savers, people are able to work longer hours and to work at more than one job in order to maintain their supposedly time-saving devices and to keep buying new ones as the old ones wear out. Therefore, these devices and the oft-repeated lie that they “save time” not only create but also perpetuate the type of wage-slave, consumption-oriented capitalism that, as I type, is being waged against the American people.
I have nothing really against free time, only the way that free time is used. Americans and persons living in industrialized nations similar to ours use their free time to sit around eating highly processed and chemical-laden foodstuffs, watching television, playing video games, and generally getting fatter and unhealthier by the day; if, however these free-time-rich people were to work in community gardens, paint pictures, tell each other stories, go on hikes, or exercise their bodies and minds and make themselves into better and more interesting people instead of poking at touch-screen-equipped tablet computers while turning up the volume on the TV in order to drown out the sound pollution generated by the dishwasher and the washing-machine running at the same time, if these people were to be active and creative and all chip in to make this nation and this planet a greener and quieter place for all then we might slowly redeem ourselves in the opinions and estimations of a candid world. As it stands however, with our federal government owned and operated by the very persons who gain the most – financially – from our brand of wage-slave style capitalism, there is a greater incentive to keep the people fat, stupid, and sold on the idea that there are devices for sale that will make their lives easier or better rather than to encourage them to be self-sufficient, self-reliant, and self-respecting. How much farther down this stinking rabbit-hole of convenience-driven consumerism can we possibly allow ourselves to fall? America delenda est.
agitate – challenge – debunk – restore
場黑麥 mentiri manufactorem fecit
22 June 2012
on the lack of a bogeyman
For a good portion of the second half of the 20th century, the United States had a clearly defined bogeyman, fall-guy, and nemesis: the pinkies, reds, and commies of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics (CCCP). Then, in the early 1990s, the CCCP crumbled, unable to keep underwriting the avarice and greed of its ruling class, unable to enforce its will upon an oppression-weary populace, and unable to keep up with the sheer might of consumption-centered capitalism coupled with the rapid mechanization and robotization as was taking place in such nations as chose to oppose it. All of a sudden, after decades of silent struggle against a highly demonized foe (see the inclusion of the phrase Under God in the pledge of allegiance that was added to show what godless heathens were the commies), America found herself without a clearly defined enemy.
Into this gap came the 9-11-2001 attacks, after which the branches of the U.S. government that were charged with defense and intelligence focused their various highly-sophisticated and well-tuned apparatuses for covert surveillance, espionage, murder, and sneak-thievery not onto an external foe but onto the very individuals whose Safety and Happiness they were supposed to bring about: the American people. We, the People, are now the enemy. We, the People, are now spied upon, listened to, and watched more closely than any terrorist or friend of terrorist who might yet be foolish enough to use means of electronic communication such as radio, cellphone, or Internet. Worst of all, however, we, the People, as a whole, do not seem to mind this oppression, preferring rather to walk the walk we have always walked it, dutifully participating in presidential elections (over which, because of the electoral college, we have little power and less influence), dutifully watching five hours of television a day, dutifully reporting to work and then, as if we were mindless automatons hardwired to strict obedience, spending our hard-earned cash on such superfluous bullshit as we were told – in multiple, exquisitely-crafted television commercials the previous evening – to buy.
There is a balance that the federal government must strike between keeping us, the People, Safe and Happy; but that balance has tilted (and not just during the Obama presidency, but also during the Bush2 and Clinton presidencies) drastically to the side of Safety at the cost of most of our Happiness. We, the People, must find a way to regain the balance that our nation seems to have lost; but, since we are rotting our minds by watching TV, and racking up consumer debt because we cannot control our own impulsive materialism, there is, I think, little hope that we might accomplish much of anything beyond become more fat and more lazy. So, with Osama Bin Laden dead, the regime of those pinkie-commie bastards long since withered away, and our worth as a people plummeting daily, perhaps we truly deserve our bogeyman status. Hrm.
場黑麥 mentiri manufactorem fecit
Into this gap came the 9-11-2001 attacks, after which the branches of the U.S. government that were charged with defense and intelligence focused their various highly-sophisticated and well-tuned apparatuses for covert surveillance, espionage, murder, and sneak-thievery not onto an external foe but onto the very individuals whose Safety and Happiness they were supposed to bring about: the American people. We, the People, are now the enemy. We, the People, are now spied upon, listened to, and watched more closely than any terrorist or friend of terrorist who might yet be foolish enough to use means of electronic communication such as radio, cellphone, or Internet. Worst of all, however, we, the People, as a whole, do not seem to mind this oppression, preferring rather to walk the walk we have always walked it, dutifully participating in presidential elections (over which, because of the electoral college, we have little power and less influence), dutifully watching five hours of television a day, dutifully reporting to work and then, as if we were mindless automatons hardwired to strict obedience, spending our hard-earned cash on such superfluous bullshit as we were told – in multiple, exquisitely-crafted television commercials the previous evening – to buy.
There is a balance that the federal government must strike between keeping us, the People, Safe and Happy; but that balance has tilted (and not just during the Obama presidency, but also during the Bush2 and Clinton presidencies) drastically to the side of Safety at the cost of most of our Happiness. We, the People, must find a way to regain the balance that our nation seems to have lost; but, since we are rotting our minds by watching TV, and racking up consumer debt because we cannot control our own impulsive materialism, there is, I think, little hope that we might accomplish much of anything beyond become more fat and more lazy. So, with Osama Bin Laden dead, the regime of those pinkie-commie bastards long since withered away, and our worth as a people plummeting daily, perhaps we truly deserve our bogeyman status. Hrm.
場黑麥 mentiri manufactorem fecit
20 June 2012
on Vader stains
場黑麥 mentiri manufactorem fecit
18 June 2012
on how long things take
I often look at my fingernails after a particularly rough bit of labor, when they are chipped and packed with dirt, and I wonder just how long it will take for them to grow back after I wash and cut them. Then, before I am really conscious of too much time having gone by, I look back down and find they are once again long enough to retain soil and to serve as nice little scratchers for scratching at my various skins and scalp. And so it goes with children, and lawns, and growing and teeming things – they grow so slowly and inconspicuously that one barely notices that things have changed before, all of a sudden, they are bigger than their clothes or are in need a good, thorough mowing. I am tempted at such times as I see my nails have grown to get down on myself for not being more productive or smarter with how I spend my time, until I realize that if time is flying it means that I am doing things that I love to do, and so, instead, I smile to myself and bend to the task at hand.
場黑麥 mentiri manufactorem fecit
場黑麥 mentiri manufactorem fecit
15 June 2012
on fighting fear
I am stumbled into the viper's pit, into a home suffused with Fear. That force against which all upstanding and self-respecting persons fight diligently and with indomitable passion reigns here nearly supreme; its stifling cloak has settled over most aspects of life within this home; its sinister influence has calcified upon the brains of this home's mother, poisoning nearly every thought that sparks within her mind and every tone that sounds within her mouth. The father – the SAR of whom was written just this week, on the moon's day – he contends with this his most deadly foe, but he fights it head-on rather than by the round-about, directly rather than sneakily, with thinly-veiled contempt rather than with clandestine, consummate compassion.
Our wartime President Roosevelt said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” These words ring true now more than they ever have; America is being pulled under by the slowly sinking wreck of consumption-driven capitalism, downspiraling into ignorance and small-mindedness by the hollow promise of convenience, brainwashed by the 24-hour news cycle as it drowns slowly in the brackish and sugary waters that seep from our society's crumbling foundations. As with everything else, however, as with obesity and sloth and the loss of independent thought, as with all the other ills that plague this once-fine land, fear's stranglehold is rooted in the propensity of humankind to take the path of least resistance, or what appears to be the Easy Way Out. Especially for a person whose daily activities revolve around the twin pillars of watching television and eating, it is easier to fear that to trust, easier to hate than to love, easier to despise than to praise. Especially for someone whose parents never modeled for her that love and compassion spring only from hard work and patience, dedication and sacrifice, who rather than teaching her that life is neither fair nor easy complained constantly of what they did not have while cursing other persons who appeared to have more, especially for a woman such as this – even though she is not fully to blame for her pitiable state of mind, since she has during her life neither known, nor thought to search for, a different path – fear comes easily, and it comes quickly.
It would be fine if the aforementioned woman kept her fear to herself, but, being a person averse to physical exertion and one addicted to such soothing, creeping soul-death as is addiction to television (and playing the lottery, buying name-brand foodstuffs, being driven around to nail and hair salons, and always looking for something to complain about), she talks about her problems over and over and over again instead of doing something about them. Fear has suffused her life to the point that it – rather than inherent rationality or latent compassion – is the first thing that springs from her lips; fear, which quickly becomes mistrust, which quickly becomes malcontent, which quickly becomes hatred, fear is her baseline mode of operation, the jumping-off-point from which she plans the steps of her life. How does one combat fear? By slowly and gradually showing it that it has no power, that it has no business lurking in the hearts of this nation's more gullible persons. Better this way that the other – to combat fear directly, with spiteful and equal malice – because combating fear with anger serves only to fuel fear, to make it grow and blossom so that it sinks its roots deep into the psyche. Just listen to the tone of this article: it is suffused with fear, as I have allowed evil into my heart. Oh, brother. Mahalo.
場黑麥 menterefecterem fecit
Our wartime President Roosevelt said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” These words ring true now more than they ever have; America is being pulled under by the slowly sinking wreck of consumption-driven capitalism, downspiraling into ignorance and small-mindedness by the hollow promise of convenience, brainwashed by the 24-hour news cycle as it drowns slowly in the brackish and sugary waters that seep from our society's crumbling foundations. As with everything else, however, as with obesity and sloth and the loss of independent thought, as with all the other ills that plague this once-fine land, fear's stranglehold is rooted in the propensity of humankind to take the path of least resistance, or what appears to be the Easy Way Out. Especially for a person whose daily activities revolve around the twin pillars of watching television and eating, it is easier to fear that to trust, easier to hate than to love, easier to despise than to praise. Especially for someone whose parents never modeled for her that love and compassion spring only from hard work and patience, dedication and sacrifice, who rather than teaching her that life is neither fair nor easy complained constantly of what they did not have while cursing other persons who appeared to have more, especially for a woman such as this – even though she is not fully to blame for her pitiable state of mind, since she has during her life neither known, nor thought to search for, a different path – fear comes easily, and it comes quickly.
It would be fine if the aforementioned woman kept her fear to herself, but, being a person averse to physical exertion and one addicted to such soothing, creeping soul-death as is addiction to television (and playing the lottery, buying name-brand foodstuffs, being driven around to nail and hair salons, and always looking for something to complain about), she talks about her problems over and over and over again instead of doing something about them. Fear has suffused her life to the point that it – rather than inherent rationality or latent compassion – is the first thing that springs from her lips; fear, which quickly becomes mistrust, which quickly becomes malcontent, which quickly becomes hatred, fear is her baseline mode of operation, the jumping-off-point from which she plans the steps of her life. How does one combat fear? By slowly and gradually showing it that it has no power, that it has no business lurking in the hearts of this nation's more gullible persons. Better this way that the other – to combat fear directly, with spiteful and equal malice – because combating fear with anger serves only to fuel fear, to make it grow and blossom so that it sinks its roots deep into the psyche. Just listen to the tone of this article: it is suffused with fear, as I have allowed evil into my heart. Oh, brother. Mahalo.
場黑麥 menterefecterem fecit
13 June 2012
on the society for securing the blessings of Liberty
In the wake of all federal, state, and local government's recent refusal to follow such guidelines as are clearly worded in the Constitution of the United States of America stating that one of the few roles of government is to secure the blessings of Liberty to us, the founding persons' Posterity, by granting us, the American People, full and unconditional rights to do with our bodies and our minds as we see best fit (be it by smoking, drinking, gaining or losing weight, or cutting our hair in strange and unusual ways), the most upstanding and forward-thinking citizens of this economically-ailing and morally-oppressive nation have banded together to form the American Society for Securing the Blessings of Liberty (ASSBL).
Open to any person who swears that he or she has actually studied the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution with a sober and open mind and who can prove that he or she is dedicated fully to the cause of keeping the People Safe and Happy (by staying out of everyone else's business until such time as intervention is requested by them in writing), the ASSBL seeks to guide our once-fine nation back onto the course from which it long ago strayed. Said Ebenezer Higgins IX (a direct descendant of one of the original Sons of Liberty), who was himself instrumental in the founding of ASSBL, “For too long have we granted our various governmental bodies the power to control our lives and to punish us for doing with our bodies things that do not directly infringe upon the Life, Liberty, or Property of any other person, or persons. Our brave ancestors fought and died to secure for us total freedom, which we sacrificed in 1970 with the Controlled Substances Act and then again shortly after the 9-11 attacks in order to gain a simulacrum of security against the chaotic and shifting winds of Fortune, against which there is no security that has ever or can ever be devised by humankind.”
The ASSBL was inspired by the short-lived Department for Securing the Blessings of Liberty, a government body founded by President Barack Obama that flourished for, oh, about five whole minutes before the prison, district attorney, and police lobbies had its funding revoked and arranged to have its appointed members lose their lands, to have their mouths sewn shut, and to live in constant fear of being physically and politically disappeared. Dedicated to the idea that the role of government is to protect the People from external and internal threats rather than to nitpick their every action or to put them in jail for consuming drugs other than the drug alcohol, the drug nicotine, or the drug caffeine, the Society requires of its members merely that they risk their Lives, their Fortunes, and their sacred Honor to protect the Life, Liberty, and Property of their fellow homo sapiens. To sign up for ASSBL, or to donate funds to help ensure its continued existence, please call 1.877.555.GFYS, or go to www.theblessingsoflibertydonotexist.com.
場黑麥 menterefecterem fecit
Open to any person who swears that he or she has actually studied the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution with a sober and open mind and who can prove that he or she is dedicated fully to the cause of keeping the People Safe and Happy (by staying out of everyone else's business until such time as intervention is requested by them in writing), the ASSBL seeks to guide our once-fine nation back onto the course from which it long ago strayed. Said Ebenezer Higgins IX (a direct descendant of one of the original Sons of Liberty), who was himself instrumental in the founding of ASSBL, “For too long have we granted our various governmental bodies the power to control our lives and to punish us for doing with our bodies things that do not directly infringe upon the Life, Liberty, or Property of any other person, or persons. Our brave ancestors fought and died to secure for us total freedom, which we sacrificed in 1970 with the Controlled Substances Act and then again shortly after the 9-11 attacks in order to gain a simulacrum of security against the chaotic and shifting winds of Fortune, against which there is no security that has ever or can ever be devised by humankind.”
The ASSBL was inspired by the short-lived Department for Securing the Blessings of Liberty, a government body founded by President Barack Obama that flourished for, oh, about five whole minutes before the prison, district attorney, and police lobbies had its funding revoked and arranged to have its appointed members lose their lands, to have their mouths sewn shut, and to live in constant fear of being physically and politically disappeared. Dedicated to the idea that the role of government is to protect the People from external and internal threats rather than to nitpick their every action or to put them in jail for consuming drugs other than the drug alcohol, the drug nicotine, or the drug caffeine, the Society requires of its members merely that they risk their Lives, their Fortunes, and their sacred Honor to protect the Life, Liberty, and Property of their fellow homo sapiens. To sign up for ASSBL, or to donate funds to help ensure its continued existence, please call 1.877.555.GFYS, or go to www.theblessingsoflibertydonotexist.com.
場黑麥 menterefecterem fecit
11 June 2012
on a SAR lost
Sons of the American Revolution; free-thinking, independent-minded citizens of America; fellow lovers of Liberty; dear few remaining self-sufficient, self-reliant Yankees:
We may have lost, once and for all, a member whom we once thought it possible to save. It was not enough that he allowed himself to be ruled by such fear as was being spoon-fed to the People in the immediate wake of the 9-11-2001 terrorist attacks. It was not enough that he jumped wholly onto the bandwagon of consumption-oriented market capitalism. It was not enough that he has stocked his home with delicate and costly things in direct violation of the teachings of frugality and compassion attributed to his god Jesus Christ. No, dear brothers of Freedom and sisters of Liberty, I have witnessed with my own eyes his full and complete retreat into madness, his obedient adoption of even the most trivial and poorly-thought-out drivel that tends to slither from the mouths of such politicians as Sarah Palin: he has replaced the compact fluorescent (CFL) bulbs with which he once reduced his energy consumption with old-school, incandescent bulbs. Also, he has learned from his wife that it is acceptable to leave the outside windows open for long periods of time while the air-conditioning is on full blast, thus proving to the world his nearly complete lack of self-critical thinking and his nearly total abandonment of the lessons of his childhood when making the little decisions that significantly impact not only his own life but also the wellbeing of every single other person alive today. Neither he nor his wife run surgical emergency operating rooms within the home, nor do they do much more with their eyes that use them to watch television (in this case, literally, the idiot-box); therefore, they do not require immediately-available light in order to save lives or to make the world a better place, only to guide their way from the couch to the refrigerator, and back again; (they therefore have no good reason to need the lights in their home to come to an immediately full brightness and can afford to wait a few moments for CFLs to gain full brightness). This our poor brother's mindset is so alien to our cause of personal hardiness and self-sufficient living, so devoid of hubris, so lacking in self-criticism as to have moved him so very close to the brink of the world of lost causes that I cannot see a way to save his soul from slowly rotting away, unused, inside the dank nether-regions of his unplumbed inner depths. We have lost him, dear siblings in Liberty: lost him to the hype; lost him to the Fear; lost him to the siren-call of false convenience; and lost him to such a mindset that tends to push this nation's problems down the road, kicking the can just far enough into the next generation's territory as to keep it out of sight without actually picking up the can and fucking recycling it.
I have tried speaking, I have tried reasoning, I have tried threats both open and thinly-veiled – all to no avail. Dear friends, fellow Sons and Daughters of the American Revolution, if anyone knows how to pull such a fellow as the man described above back from the abyss, back from his blind adherence to the poorly-conceived notions spewing from the suck-holes of our more radical politicians, please contact me or comment on this post, to assist me in my attempts to save this our sibling in Liberty. Please help me, oh dear friends, for I dance with despair, my heart near torn asunder. Mahalo.
場黑麥 menterefecterem fecit
We may have lost, once and for all, a member whom we once thought it possible to save. It was not enough that he allowed himself to be ruled by such fear as was being spoon-fed to the People in the immediate wake of the 9-11-2001 terrorist attacks. It was not enough that he jumped wholly onto the bandwagon of consumption-oriented market capitalism. It was not enough that he has stocked his home with delicate and costly things in direct violation of the teachings of frugality and compassion attributed to his god Jesus Christ. No, dear brothers of Freedom and sisters of Liberty, I have witnessed with my own eyes his full and complete retreat into madness, his obedient adoption of even the most trivial and poorly-thought-out drivel that tends to slither from the mouths of such politicians as Sarah Palin: he has replaced the compact fluorescent (CFL) bulbs with which he once reduced his energy consumption with old-school, incandescent bulbs. Also, he has learned from his wife that it is acceptable to leave the outside windows open for long periods of time while the air-conditioning is on full blast, thus proving to the world his nearly complete lack of self-critical thinking and his nearly total abandonment of the lessons of his childhood when making the little decisions that significantly impact not only his own life but also the wellbeing of every single other person alive today. Neither he nor his wife run surgical emergency operating rooms within the home, nor do they do much more with their eyes that use them to watch television (in this case, literally, the idiot-box); therefore, they do not require immediately-available light in order to save lives or to make the world a better place, only to guide their way from the couch to the refrigerator, and back again; (they therefore have no good reason to need the lights in their home to come to an immediately full brightness and can afford to wait a few moments for CFLs to gain full brightness). This our poor brother's mindset is so alien to our cause of personal hardiness and self-sufficient living, so devoid of hubris, so lacking in self-criticism as to have moved him so very close to the brink of the world of lost causes that I cannot see a way to save his soul from slowly rotting away, unused, inside the dank nether-regions of his unplumbed inner depths. We have lost him, dear siblings in Liberty: lost him to the hype; lost him to the Fear; lost him to the siren-call of false convenience; and lost him to such a mindset that tends to push this nation's problems down the road, kicking the can just far enough into the next generation's territory as to keep it out of sight without actually picking up the can and fucking recycling it.
I have tried speaking, I have tried reasoning, I have tried threats both open and thinly-veiled – all to no avail. Dear friends, fellow Sons and Daughters of the American Revolution, if anyone knows how to pull such a fellow as the man described above back from the abyss, back from his blind adherence to the poorly-conceived notions spewing from the suck-holes of our more radical politicians, please contact me or comment on this post, to assist me in my attempts to save this our sibling in Liberty. Please help me, oh dear friends, for I dance with despair, my heart near torn asunder. Mahalo.
場黑麥 menterefecterem fecit
08 June 2012
on poison, pests, & how we choose to live
Persons watching television for long enough will be familiar with advertisements playing up the dangers of termites and other such small animals that are considered by many people to be pests. Computer-animated sequences containing high drama, witty comedy, and compelling action play during these commercials while a gravely-voiced narrator speaks repeatedly of poisoning, rooting out, exterminating, and eliminating such beings as are blamed with threatening not just the home's structural integrity but also the very health and safety of the people living within it; it is as if these pests were not just eating the foundations of the home but that they posed a risk to the entirety of human existence.
It is not the fault of the termite that he likes to eat the wooden beams that home-builders line up in such nicely even rows in such nicely dark and poorly-ventilated places; nor are termites or their burrowing buddies to blame for their tendency to eat fibrous materials and to aid in the rapid decomposition thereof: Nature in all her finery has equipped these our little brothers and sisters with such tools as that speed up the process of breaking down dead material into smaller and smaller bits until it is once again indistinguishable from dirt. No, the termite is not to blame; it is the human who is to blame for using the one material that termites love to eat and for building his house in such a way as to all but beg for something to eat at it. And then, when the human (living in America) discovers that something is munching on his pricey abode, instead of celebrating this completely natural cycle of decay and rebirth and obviating the issue by changing the materials he uses to build his domicile (such as by switching to stone), he gropes around blindly for the first available, seemingly most simple option, and fills his home – and the home of the termites – with powerful and deadly poisons.
No, there is no excuse for the various extermination companies that here ply their trade; they offer short-term, chemical solutions to a long-term issue that, at its root, requires a complete redesign of everything we humans thought we knew about How To Build Structures That Last. Perhaps with a little fiddling, a bit of foresight, and a healthy dollop of hubris, we can keep termites and other burrowing beasts where they belong: in the woods.
場黑麥 menterefecterem fecit
It is not the fault of the termite that he likes to eat the wooden beams that home-builders line up in such nicely even rows in such nicely dark and poorly-ventilated places; nor are termites or their burrowing buddies to blame for their tendency to eat fibrous materials and to aid in the rapid decomposition thereof: Nature in all her finery has equipped these our little brothers and sisters with such tools as that speed up the process of breaking down dead material into smaller and smaller bits until it is once again indistinguishable from dirt. No, the termite is not to blame; it is the human who is to blame for using the one material that termites love to eat and for building his house in such a way as to all but beg for something to eat at it. And then, when the human (living in America) discovers that something is munching on his pricey abode, instead of celebrating this completely natural cycle of decay and rebirth and obviating the issue by changing the materials he uses to build his domicile (such as by switching to stone), he gropes around blindly for the first available, seemingly most simple option, and fills his home – and the home of the termites – with powerful and deadly poisons.
No, there is no excuse for the various extermination companies that here ply their trade; they offer short-term, chemical solutions to a long-term issue that, at its root, requires a complete redesign of everything we humans thought we knew about How To Build Structures That Last. Perhaps with a little fiddling, a bit of foresight, and a healthy dollop of hubris, we can keep termites and other burrowing beasts where they belong: in the woods.
場黑麥 menterefecterem fecit
06 June 2012
on America's central problem
For nearly a century now Americans have remained universally addicted to one thing: the constant availability of alternating-current (AC) electrical power (as well as, of course, mankind's damnable propensity to take the path of least resistance). This addiction is responsible for nearly each of our nation's woes, among them our backslide into a convenience-oriented culture and our over-reliance on mechanical and electrical devices to do all of our work for us which in turn makes us lazy and prone to lie around all day watching television and being worthless pieces of shit. In order to fuel the dynamos that make this power, good, honest Americans risk their lives to drag coal out of deep tunnels, whereupon it is dumped into trains, moved vast distances, and burned by the ton, releasing large amounts of harmful by-products every step of the way. Then, instead of just using the direct current (DC) coming from the high-tension lines that zigzag across our abused and once-pristine land, power companies transform the direct current into alternating current, losing a large portion of the initial electrical charge in the process. Anyone who has ever charged a cellphone or laptop computer battery uses DC: most batteries used today employ the DC system – which is an effective and efficient method for storing and using electricity – but this means that the juice that keeps our handheld devices running is first transformed into AC before being piped back into the home, whereupon it is transformed (via the little box on one's electrical-charging-cable) back into DC so that it can charge said battery. Furthermore, in order for said battery to be charged in the first place, the various power companies must run their power-generating stations at certain levels all of the time, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and 365 days a year, even when no one is using that power, such as at night when most people are sleeping. And what is at the root of all of this wastefulness? Why do we still adhere to standards that have been proven over and over again to be inferior to other designs? One reason is Mr. Edison's (and his sinister cabal's) early 20th century efforts to replace the alternating current championed by Mr. Nikola Tesla with their system of direct current – a more complicated and more costly but no safer alternative to the Tesla design – so that he could sell the inventions he himself had designed and built; his short-sighted avarice, along with the acquiescence of the U.S. federal government, have put us – and kept us – in this mess.
Since the federal government of this country has kept us in this mess for so long, it is only fitting that it should get us back out of it. Please, release Mr. Tesla's documents, which became the property of you our tyrannical federal overlords immediately upon his death. We must start building and using the Wardenclyffe tower designs to provide no-cost-to-the-consumer wireless communications and no-cost-to-the-consumer wireless electrical power; anything less shall be seen as neglecting the general Welfare by keeping the People addicted to such power as seems to spring effortlessly from the nation's wall-sockets but that in reality wastes so many of our precious resources. Please, dear g-men down in Whorshanktin, rewrite the standards to allow us to conserve as much of the energy we generate as possible so that we might use the product of our nation's labor most efficiently, conserve our dwindling stock of natural resources, guide the People back along a path of intelligent sustainability, and reduce our fantastically high levels of pollution. Anything less, dear Senators, Congresspersons, and President, anything less shall be construed as spineless obedience to the pressures of lobbyists and to the power companies that pay for them (to whom you, in turn, routinely sell your souls).
場黑麥 menterefecterem fecit
Since the federal government of this country has kept us in this mess for so long, it is only fitting that it should get us back out of it. Please, release Mr. Tesla's documents, which became the property of you our tyrannical federal overlords immediately upon his death. We must start building and using the Wardenclyffe tower designs to provide no-cost-to-the-consumer wireless communications and no-cost-to-the-consumer wireless electrical power; anything less shall be seen as neglecting the general Welfare by keeping the People addicted to such power as seems to spring effortlessly from the nation's wall-sockets but that in reality wastes so many of our precious resources. Please, dear g-men down in Whorshanktin, rewrite the standards to allow us to conserve as much of the energy we generate as possible so that we might use the product of our nation's labor most efficiently, conserve our dwindling stock of natural resources, guide the People back along a path of intelligent sustainability, and reduce our fantastically high levels of pollution. Anything less, dear Senators, Congresspersons, and President, anything less shall be construed as spineless obedience to the pressures of lobbyists and to the power companies that pay for them (to whom you, in turn, routinely sell your souls).
場黑麥 menterefecterem fecit
04 June 2012
an open letter to America's founding persons
Dear individuals who founded or influenced the founding of the United States of America: may you have a good day. I write to you across a long stretch of time – nearly two hundred and forty years – with greetings and supplications. Much is being said of late in this fine land you crafted so long ago about your intentions, your motives, and your goals. Friends, woe is befallen us, for we have taken the essence of the nation you designed in the Declaration of Independence and trampled it unceremoniously to dust. As Dr. Franklin warned after the ratification of the Constitution in 1787, we have not been able to hold on to the republic you created; rather, we have allowed the forces of blind and inexorable avarice (which we now refer to rather as corporation-based, consumption-driven capitalism) to all but ruin the seemingly boundless promise of your intended nation. No longer does government exist to serve the People – now its punishes with fines and imprisonment those of us who drink deeply of the Blessings of Liberty and who pursue our Happiness as we see best fit without infringing upon the Life, Liberty, or Property of any other person or persons; now it exists not to foster the free mind, the free life, or the free will but to punish the People for not living according to the rules it proclaims will bring the most benefit to the most people, rules, however, which are designed by and written for the benefit of a few hundred thousand of the richest citizens (and their respective corporate bodies) who enjoy privileged access to policy-makers due to their vast wealth, lack of humility, and insufficient focus on the Shared and Common Causes (making all people, equally, Safe and Happy) which should bind us, as countrymen, to one another, indelibly. Justice, friends, has been banished behind such dark and oppressive curtains as hang in our houses of deliberation; her blindfold has been removed in order to combat a poorly defined danger known as terrorism; and her sword now strikes down such persons – both native and foreign-born – as have not even been given a decent or fair trial by a jury of their peers. As mentioned previously, laws exist that promote neither the general Welfare nor that insure the domestic Tranquility but that subjugate the People to the whims of heavily-armed, fear-obsessed, oppression-minded police forces and that divert the vast wealth generated by the collective labor of this nation's citizens into the pockets of those few of us who have the best political connections and the broadest corporate reach. The noble cause of a more perfect Union has been replaced by the nation-wide homogenization of goods and services that has eroded the independent and self-respecting nature of the People, replacing it instead with a sheep-like mentality under which we slave primarily to fuel personal over-consumption of foodstuffs, electricity, and images that are piped at great expense into our homes where they move about on magical picture-boxes hanging from the walls.
Such is our suffering, and more. We move about not under our own power but atop and within auto-mobile metal boxes that are powered by the burning of a liquid pitch, an inflammable black goo that is pumped from the ground in distant places by hirsute, turbaned foreigners who use the profit from the sale of this oil to fund terrorist groups that in turn murder the People and maim our friends. Rather than raising and storing our own crops, we rely on foods that throughout their lives are sprayed regularly with an unknowable mixture of dangerous and volatile chemicals before they are moved nearly to our doorsteps via larger self-propelled metal boxes that travel upon thousands of miles of rock-and-liquid-pitch-paved roads; rather than raise our own livestock, we rely on meats that throughout their lives are injected regularly with an unknowable mixture of powerful medicines and growth-promoting chemicals before they are moved nearly to our doorsteps upon the aforementioned roads. And, due to this lack of autonomous locomotion and this over-abundance of foodstuffs, we have become lazy and fat, suffering therefore from fatness- and laziness-related diseases and dying of them by the hundreds of thousands.
Oh, dear brothers and sisters, you who stamped this nation out of the dust, who risked Life, Fortune, and Honor in order to create a nation dedicated to the Safety and Happiness of a free and independent People, please accept our apologies for destroying all that which you risked to create, and for desecrating and neglecting all that which you worked so hand to bring about. We are weak, we are spineless, and we hardly deserve even the last, dying remnants of that which you so diligently created. Please, dearest fore-fathers and fore-mothers, please forgive us, for we knew the dangers of the path we have stumbled down, choosing it however because it offered us the least resistance. America delenda est.
場黑麥 menterefecterem fecit
Such is our suffering, and more. We move about not under our own power but atop and within auto-mobile metal boxes that are powered by the burning of a liquid pitch, an inflammable black goo that is pumped from the ground in distant places by hirsute, turbaned foreigners who use the profit from the sale of this oil to fund terrorist groups that in turn murder the People and maim our friends. Rather than raising and storing our own crops, we rely on foods that throughout their lives are sprayed regularly with an unknowable mixture of dangerous and volatile chemicals before they are moved nearly to our doorsteps via larger self-propelled metal boxes that travel upon thousands of miles of rock-and-liquid-pitch-paved roads; rather than raise our own livestock, we rely on meats that throughout their lives are injected regularly with an unknowable mixture of powerful medicines and growth-promoting chemicals before they are moved nearly to our doorsteps upon the aforementioned roads. And, due to this lack of autonomous locomotion and this over-abundance of foodstuffs, we have become lazy and fat, suffering therefore from fatness- and laziness-related diseases and dying of them by the hundreds of thousands.
Oh, dear brothers and sisters, you who stamped this nation out of the dust, who risked Life, Fortune, and Honor in order to create a nation dedicated to the Safety and Happiness of a free and independent People, please accept our apologies for destroying all that which you risked to create, and for desecrating and neglecting all that which you worked so hand to bring about. We are weak, we are spineless, and we hardly deserve even the last, dying remnants of that which you so diligently created. Please, dearest fore-fathers and fore-mothers, please forgive us, for we knew the dangers of the path we have stumbled down, choosing it however because it offered us the least resistance. America delenda est.
場黑麥 menterefecterem fecit
01 June 2012
on signaling turns & lane changes
As one who velocipedes in a rural area, a town not at all designed with bicyclists in mind, I find myself adhering more strictly to the rules of the road than most of the automobile drivers with whom I share it. While I admit to running the occasional stop-sign – when no one else is within my fields of vision – and while I flagrantly violate the local law that states that pedal-mashers must ride on, of all places, the sidewalk (which is, one would think, intended only for foot-bound pedestrian traffic), I follow the law in one instance more than most others: signaling turns and lane changes.
Signaling one's lane changes and turns indicates a number of things. First, and foremost, it is a courtesy to the other drivers, a simple yet effective way to let them know that their location is known, that their existence on the road has been noted, and that the person making the lane change will do so, if at all possible, without slamming into any other cars that happen to be in his or her vicinity. Second, it gives the other persons on the road some small bit of warning that one's conveyance is about to undergo a series of sudden and likely violent maneuvers intended to change its direction and that of the people riding within or on top of it. Third, and perhaps most importantly, it shows that, as someone operating a vehicle on the road, one has one's shit together to the point that one knows just which route to take to get to where one am going, that one is taking the most direct and efficient path toward one's goal, and that one is paying attention to what is going on on the road rather than browsing the interwebs or clicking through a friend's tropical vacation pictures on facebook.
If you, dear friend, like to prove your worth to society at large, if you strive to be respectful not only of the property but also of the opinions of others, if you think that America would be a better place if everyone simply respected the life-threateningly dangerous activity that we call driving, please consider signaling your own lane changes, turns, and merges – every time and everywhere – even if it does not appear that anyone else is around who might benefit from such courtesy. With a bit of concerted effort, and a simple flick of the wrist, we can, each one of us, help to make this nation a better place for all who live here. Thanks, and mahalo.
場黑麥 menterefecterem fecit
Signaling one's lane changes and turns indicates a number of things. First, and foremost, it is a courtesy to the other drivers, a simple yet effective way to let them know that their location is known, that their existence on the road has been noted, and that the person making the lane change will do so, if at all possible, without slamming into any other cars that happen to be in his or her vicinity. Second, it gives the other persons on the road some small bit of warning that one's conveyance is about to undergo a series of sudden and likely violent maneuvers intended to change its direction and that of the people riding within or on top of it. Third, and perhaps most importantly, it shows that, as someone operating a vehicle on the road, one has one's shit together to the point that one knows just which route to take to get to where one am going, that one is taking the most direct and efficient path toward one's goal, and that one is paying attention to what is going on on the road rather than browsing the interwebs or clicking through a friend's tropical vacation pictures on facebook.
If you, dear friend, like to prove your worth to society at large, if you strive to be respectful not only of the property but also of the opinions of others, if you think that America would be a better place if everyone simply respected the life-threateningly dangerous activity that we call driving, please consider signaling your own lane changes, turns, and merges – every time and everywhere – even if it does not appear that anyone else is around who might benefit from such courtesy. With a bit of concerted effort, and a simple flick of the wrist, we can, each one of us, help to make this nation a better place for all who live here. Thanks, and mahalo.
場黑麥 menterefecterem fecit
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