old nasty habits

I gave it my all and now find myself drained, like some well-cut wood my libido's been planed. The old nasty habits learned lifetimes ago are once again messing with mine easy flow. I find myself handsome and soft on the eyes although deep within boils a cauldron of lies that robs me of pleasure and fills me with grief, in solitude smoking the tobacco leaf. The yoga is useful, it can calm the dread that fills me as soon as I rise from my bed. I must speak to someone who cares well enough to hear out my anger and sadness and stuff, who knows how to loosen the tangles that bind and harness Happiness, that keep me behind. A longer-term girlfriend would also good do, not someone I'm used to but someone brand new, who's willing to stand by me during this switch, who isn't a total or self-centered bitch. For now I'll keep surfing and honing my craft, and hanging with people who are quick to laugh, the swell it is calling, the future awaits, through all of these Balinese pintu, or gates.

© americanifesto / 場黑麥