haiku 25 Oct 2017

She begs for fish-juice
Then cleans herself with great care
Eyes like slits, watching

americanifesto / 場黑麥 / jpr / urbanartopia / whorphan

on the logic of cleaning dishes

When I was a teenager, in 1991 or ‘92, my parents had my siblings and me do the dishes each night after dinner. Two of us three kids would wash and dry everything by hand then put it all neatly away. Just before my sister and I had finishing the chore one night, our mother came in and spoke to us, pointing out that water had collected on the counter and in the sink. “When you’re finished,” she said, “leave so few traces that that not even Sherlock Holmes could figure out what had occurred here.” We wiped away the clues, leaving the area sparkling, and spotless.

Now, nearly thirty years later, I still do my best to stick by the logic related above. When I dirty a dish or pot, I clean it up immediately. When the dishes are dry, I put them away. Used laundry goes in one place, clean clothes in another. If something is out of place or damaged, it gets fixed or discarded. In this way, my work gets done while it is still small - before it becomes a burden.

With a glance at my living quarters, a trained detective could gather lots of information about my habits and proclivities. What he would not find, however, is that I am a messy person.

americanifesto / JPR / whorphan / 場黑麥

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on changing flora

The bottle of probiotic powder cost a hundred bones. I bought it instead of going to see the play Noah, during my family's reunion. Fuck going to the play Noah; if I had wanted to read the story of Noah, I'd have bought a bible from the dollar store, for a dollar. Since receiving the powder I have added 1/32 of a teaspoon of it to my morning protein shake, one made with organic whey powder, natural peanut butter, chia seeds, cinnamon, honey, and almond milk. And boy do my guts like their new inhabitants, the good little microbes expanding throughout my intestines, the millions of microscopic remora cleaning and grooming me, their sentient and bipedal man-shark. After little more than a week, the probiotics have helped make my mind less cluttered, my yearnings fewer, my needs less pressing, and my Spirit lighter. The gut is indeed a powerful force, the third mind of man.

mentiri factorem fecit – 場黑麥

on cleaning clothes

I no longer use a washing-machine powered by electricity. Instead, I have developed a series of buckets in which I clean my clothes, a system that works fairly well. To start, I fill up an old cat litter bucket – one that is clean, squat, and wider than the average contractor's bucket – with the clothes I wish to wash, a dollop of detergent, and water. Usually, I allow this brew to sit for many hours out on the deck so that the soap and water can impregnate the fibers and make cleaning easier. Such long soakings (which make up phase 1) work fine in summer; in winter, however, they find me cleaning my clothes in the evenings, the cold and the dark conspiring with the dirty, frigid water in which my garments have been sitting to make for a miserable task. Now, I process a load in one go, the wash and the rinse cycles following one another closely rather than being spaced out over an entire day.

I agitate the clothes in the squat bucket by poking one side down with a long bamboo pole (a broomstick will also work during this, phase 2), forcing the items down on one side, which pushes them up on the other and allows me to mash the garments thoroughly. After I see a particular shirt or item for the third or fourth time, I put aside my stick and drop a skinnier bucket into the squat one (skinnier in that its bottom goes all the way down to the bottom of the wider bucket), this one with many holes drilled into its bottom and sides. I sit on the top of the skinner bucket, thus forcing the water from the clothes using my own weight. Once I am satisfied with this rudimentary straining, I take the skinnier bucket back out and resume poking at the clothes with my poker, rotating them around and around until they seem well agitated. (The water at this point will be oily, brownish, and filled with tiny particles of sweat, skin, and dirt.) I usually agitate and strain at least three times before dumping out what water I can and moving on to phase 3.

Phase 3 involves putting the skinnier bucket back into the squat bucket but then flipping both over together so that the water runs out. Then, I sit on the bottom of the squat bucket, using my own weight to strain the clothes against the skinnier bucket (which, again, has holes drilled into its bottom and sides). This forces much of the remaining water out of the clothes; I get even more out by rocking back and forth and by shifting position on the bottom of the squat bucket, which allows trapped pockets of water to escape onto the wooden deck, which must be swept off afterward to keep it from rotting quite so quickly. I generally give the clothes a visual check at this point, and a close smelling, to see if they need a third rinse or if the are clean enough to move on to phase 4. This last phase involves taking the wet items from the squat bucket and hanging them up to dry on my clothes-spider, a retractable hanger that perches at the edge of the deck far enough from the house so that the water dripping from the clothes does not seep into the foundation or moisten the siding. I usually leave the clothes there to drip their remaining moisture onto the grass; if I am lucky, they get an additional from the rain. Once the clothes are mostly dry, I move them to lines under the roof of the upper, front porch, where they are allowed to dry fully before being taken in, folded, and put away.

Cleaning clothes in the manner described above takes more time than with an electrical washing-machine; it uses virtually no electricity, however, it is all but silent, and it provides the washer with a good upper-body workout. The cost for the buckets, soap, and poker is less than $20, but the ability to wash one's clothes – without electricity or undue physical strain – is nearly priceless. Regain a slice of independence through honest effort! Mahalo.

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