ask, request, command

Though flawed in many ways, modern English has figured a few things out. After 500 years of usage, standard words now exist that allow its user to inquire, to entreat, and to issue orders. Using these standard words, the English speaker is able to express himself clearly, concisely, and efficiently. The following are examples of some simple words and standard usages that, if used correctly, allow for streamlined communications.

The English speaker seeking to ask a question about someone’s ability to do something ought use the word ‘can.’ “Can you put the toilet seat down?” is a question about someone’s ability to put the toilet seat down, not a request for him to do so.
The English speaker seeking to request something of someone else ought use the word ‘will,’ or a variant thereof. “Would you put the toilet seat down?” is a request for someone to perform that act in the immediate future.
The English speaker seeking to direct the actions of another ought use the accusative form of the appropriate verb. “Put the toilet seat down!” is a command directed at someone else, a way to tell someone else to do something - not tomorrow, not later, but now.
These standard words and usages developed for a reason; they are not interchangeable, and efforts to use them in place of one another leads quickly to confusion.

Asking someone if they ‘want’ to do something is not the same as asking them to do that thing - it’s an inquiry into their personal desires and aspirations. Trying to turn a question into a request by using the word ‘please’ in conjunction with ‘can’ as a substitute for an inquiry or command is a crutch. Physical crutches are something a person discards as soon as he is well enough to move around without them. Similarly, linguistic crutches ought be discarded as soon as a person is comfortable with the standard words and usages mentioned above.

For more information, please read a book named ‘The Elements of Style’ by William Strunk Jr. and E.B. White.

© JPR / whorphan / americanifesto / 場黑麥

on words, briefly

As part of my daily self-betterment routine, I make an effort to spend some time each day studying the following books: The Guide to Self-Sufficiency by John Seymour, Economics in One Lesson by Henry Hazlitt, The Elements of Style by William Strunk Jr. and E.B. White, Dictionary of Word Origins by Joseph T. Shipley, Sallust as translated by John C. Rolfe, and an Universal-Sprachführer Neiderländisch (universal language guide for Netherlandish) by Langenscheidt. (I also read other books, mostly science-fiction and American classics, for leisure.) In the course of my studies, I am frequently reminded of the plasticity of language, noting the changing of words over time; studying in multiple different languages (German, Netherlandish, English) keeps my tongue nimble and my brain's speech centers primed.

For the most part, words change less than one might think; cat does not start meaning dog overnight, nor will the average user of language dream up new words or new meanings, pulling definitions from the misty aether. I have noticed, however, that society can change the weight of certain words profoundly, sometimes within a brief span of time. Take, for example, the word retard. While I was growing up, and until about a few years ago, this was a mostly soft slur flung at individuals displaying a comical lack of good judgment; persons casually using the word retard could expect to go about their business unmolested and without fear of being sat down and spoken to sharply about the damage they were causing to persons with disabilities. Today, however, even mentioning the word retard will cause any know-it-all soccer-mom or her snot-nosed spawn who happens to be in earshot to scold the offensive party with righteous indignation, the color rising in her face, the pulse quickening in her veins. Cocksucker is another word that works very nicely to describe someone who displays a distinctive lack of compassion and a propensity for ruining the fun for everyone else; the word has nothing to do with persons who actually suck cock, be they male, female, or something in-between. Today, however, other ugly words – nigger, chink, whore, slut, cunt, fag, or kike – stir up a forest of waggling fingers as soon as they leave someone's mouth, whereupon the grizzly-moms are at a body's throat, tearing into him with a passion all but lacking from the rest of their lives. (These busybodies are so hyped up about keeping everything nice that they judge every word coming from any and all suck-holes, leaping forth in the manner of steel traps within milliseconds of having detected an offensive remark.)

What I am at root trying to say is that words are only throaty grunts, nasal buzzes, chopped whistles, and blunt chirps; they have only as much power as we give them; they only mean what we think they mean because we agree – each and every day – to define them the same way as everyone else. I therefore urge the reader to remember that the next time someone else uses a word not to his liking, he can choose to understand it as something completely different, thinking cat for dog or green for orange; to allow other people to control our minds, to allow other people to dictate the conditions of our Happiness, is to blame the Universe for our sorrows and to hate other people for the contents of their minds, which is on some level just as bad as hating on other people for having been born with disabilities or with skin-tones slightly darker than our own. The world is not a nice place, and the sooner we understand and accept that, the sooner we can get on to minding our own business.

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