ask, request, command

Though flawed in many ways, modern English has figured a few things out. After 500 years of usage, standard words now exist that allow its user to inquire, to entreat, and to issue orders. Using these standard words, the English speaker is able to express himself clearly, concisely, and efficiently. The following are examples of some simple words and standard usages that, if used correctly, allow for streamlined communications.

The English speaker seeking to ask a question about someone’s ability to do something ought use the word ‘can.’ “Can you put the toilet seat down?” is a question about someone’s ability to put the toilet seat down, not a request for him to do so.
The English speaker seeking to request something of someone else ought use the word ‘will,’ or a variant thereof. “Would you put the toilet seat down?” is a request for someone to perform that act in the immediate future.
The English speaker seeking to direct the actions of another ought use the accusative form of the appropriate verb. “Put the toilet seat down!” is a command directed at someone else, a way to tell someone else to do something - not tomorrow, not later, but now.
These standard words and usages developed for a reason; they are not interchangeable, and efforts to use them in place of one another leads quickly to confusion.

Asking someone if they ‘want’ to do something is not the same as asking them to do that thing - it’s an inquiry into their personal desires and aspirations. Trying to turn a question into a request by using the word ‘please’ in conjunction with ‘can’ as a substitute for an inquiry or command is a crutch. Physical crutches are something a person discards as soon as he is well enough to move around without them. Similarly, linguistic crutches ought be discarded as soon as a person is comfortable with the standard words and usages mentioned above.

For more information, please read a book named ‘The Elements of Style’ by William Strunk Jr. and E.B. White.

© JPR / whorphan / americanifesto / 場黑麥

on phaltscape etiquette and standards

The urban bicyclist may differ from her fellow mashers in appearance, dress, and hairstyle, but she will share with them standards of smog-riding etiquette as extensive as those of any other professional affiliation. Since it would be inconvenient to list every standard common to the smog-rider, let us examine a few of the more practical matters. To avoid making the drivers trapped in their smoking metal boxes jealous, she keeps all evidence of her bursting exuberance hidden from sight. In order to inform the people around her of her whereabouts, she will sound a series of war-whoops and signaling-whistles piercing and attention-getting enough to prevent unnecessary collisions. She rides with proper stance – shoulders pulled back and chest thrust out – so as to isolate the workout to her lower body while allowing her eyes to scan the environment calmly and with keen interest. In order to stay upright and aboard her smog-sled, she is able day or night to repair and maintain it anywhere and in any weather, and although her conveyance will look dusty and well-used, it will be in good working condition, as she has always on hand tools and spare parts.

Beyond the practical matters just listed, there are spiritual standards common to the urban cyclist. Within his brains is an extensive collection of those routes that are the smoothest, that have the least motor-vehicle traffic, and that allow him to avoid running into pesky and annoying police officers. So as to keep his body in good working condition and to avoid the irritability and dangers associated with dehydration, he drinks regularly of green coconut water, or of other beverages rich in electrolytes. An honorable and virtuous being, he will carry his smog-sled when it can carry him no longer, and since he knows that bicycling is a dangerous activity, he lives peacefully knowing that death is rushing by inches from his tender flesh-bag of a body.

Here are presented but a few of the standards of smogriding – may you discover more, and establish a few of your own.

場黑麥 ioanni elymucampus fecit

on novus ordo seclorum

  Every American dollar bill bears the slogan novus ordo seclorum, Latin for New Order for the Ages. The federal government of the United States (the fed) persecutes this new order in hot and cold military conflicts, and by wagingwar on those of its own citizens who would consume drugs other than those it itself licenses or sells.

  Regardless of whether you are American or not, and if you are, whether or not you vote: if you handle US currency, and if you conduct business with it, you give your tacit consent to the aims printed on the American greenback – if you use dollar bills, you perpetuate and maintain this new order for the ages. (I have followed with interest efforts in economically struggling communities to switch to location-specific para-currencies, efforts which seem to nullify the paper money printed by the US Treasury.) In the not too distant past, the fed faced oppressive and mass-murdering dictators that it had to destroy, which required it to reorder its economy and to draft its mission statement anew. By consequence the world was also ordered anew, and the smaller players held their breath as clear battle lines emerged, and as nuclear missile silos sprouted in the Urals, and in the Midwest.

  The outline of this new order began to change in the 1970s, when the fed abandoned the gold standard, causing the US Dollar to decline. Then, it changed the rules for financial regulation, allowing for rampant and destructive speculation, so that now the two hundred and fifty thousands of Americans who speculated best (the Point Oh Five) control the corporate structures that in turn control most aspects of society. But it is the duty of the federal government to shape a new order for the ages, and no other party – not the 0.05% nor the military-industrial complex – can manifest the destiny of this nation with the sort of extreme prejudice and blind dedication needed to finish the job.

  Ultima Ratio Regum - 場黑麥 John Paul Roggenkamp