Driving in Indonesia is a perilous pursuit. With narrow lanes, abundant potholes, stray dogs, and overflowing drainage ditches, operating a vehicle upon the Nusantara, or Islands In-Between, requires as much skill as it does luck. Little enforcement of laws means that people often drive at night with no lights, transport large and heavy loads balanced precariously, and enter roadways without stopping or looking around, and whoever is larger, louder, or faster tends to usurp the right-of-way. As with surfing, anarchy is the name of the game, however. By definition, anarchy is the absence of rulers but not rules; if everyone were to follow a few simple rules, everyone could live in peace and happiness, without need for armed wardens to keep order. Therefore, here are a few simple guidelines for operating a motor vehicle in proper anarchist fashion.
1) When driving, drive. Don't sightsee, text, talk to other drivers, slow down to point at something or adjust a pants-leg, or fiddle with something in a pocket. 2) Each car-sized lane has two motorbike lanes within it, one closer to the edge of the road, the other closer to the middle; if traveling slowly, stay on the outside so other drivers have room to pass. 3) Crossing into the other lane whilst negotiating a turn – especially when said turn is blind – endangers the health and safety of oncoming individuals. Crossing over might reduce overall travel time by half a second, and the adrenalin surge it causes might feel good, but it's just not worth the risk. 4) Persons traveling on a main road or turning off of it have right-of-way; someone turning into flowing traffic from a side road must wait to enter until it is safe to do so. 5) Adjust to oncoming traffic as soon as it is feasible, not at the last second (see rule #3). Better yet, drive as if there were always oncoming traffic, especially if there is none immediately visible (see rule #3); by driving in a manner of one's own choosing instead of making emergency adjustments to account for the presence of others, one retains not only control over one's own path but also a consistent speed upon it. 6) If necessary, go left in order to go right, turning left from the lane's left-hand side and right from its right-hand side. This means if the lane going left is clear, turn left, perform a u-turn, then go back the other way. Such a maneuver not only saves everyone else time but also displays ingenious cunning. 7) If it is necessary to stop, remove as much of the vehicle and the self as possible from the roadway. Please, please don't block an entire motorcycle lane (see rule #2) just to check a map or talk to a friend. 8) If walking or standing in the road, walk or stand facing into – against – traffic. People who can see the belching lumps of powered steel racing toward tend to get out of the way, whereas people who walk or stand with their backs to traffic tend to wander out into the middle of the road, endangering themselves and others. 9) Hearing is as important as seeing whilst driving; few living people drive blindfolded, so don't drive with ear-buds in place and music blasting. 10) Every second of driving is a death-defying task, so keep the hands on the handlebars, the eyes on the road, and two fingers on each brake. Also, please wear a helmet, as hitting a wall headfirst can be deadly, even at 7 kilometers an hour.
Many persons among us consider themselves the best drivers in the world, but there are more persons out there on the road who don't give a fuck about others' safety or right to exist. So keep that head on a swivel, know how fast the bike can speed up and slow down, and remember this: haste makes waste, always; slow the fuck down, give way, give thanks, and get home safely.
© americanifesto / 場黑麥
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